Here’s Your Hat, What’s Your Murray?

May 23, 2013

The local dailies have very – all together now – different takes on yesterday’s swan song for Lt. Gov. Timothy Murray.

The Boston Globe runs it upper left on today’s front page:

 

Picture 2

 

The Boston Herald gives it all of Page One:

 

Picture 3

 

And page two . . and page four . . . and page five . . .

 

Picture 4

 

Picture 5

 

Never one to disappoint, the feisty local tabloid features all the usual aspects in today’s coverage, starting with Joe Battenfeld’s batting Murray around:

IMG_2307.JPGTim Murray, we hardly needed ye

When Tim Murray flees the lieutenant governor’s office, he will leave behind a historic legacy: that we don’t need a lieutenant governor . . .

Despite Patrick’s flowery tribute to his second banana yesterday, Murray had no power or influence in the administration and usually could be found standing behind the governor at press conferences, saying nothing. The lieutenant governor ranked so low he didn’t even merit one of those cool MEMA vests that Patrick wears during disasters.

 

And etc.

Next up, Howie Carr mails in his balding retreads:

010512murray03‘Crash’ is no test dummy

The Worcester Chamber of Commerce?

Nobody’s all that surprised to see Tim “Crash” Murray take the golden parachute. But shouldn’t it have been a more appropriate job, like, say, with NASCAR?

 

Ha-hah!

As you’d expect, the going-away party is a lot more subdued crosstown at the stately local broadsheet. In addition to the straightforward Page One piece, there’s this sober-minded assessment from op-ed columnist Joan Vennochi:

Murray’s ambition meets reality

IF ONLY there were no mysterious car crash.

If only he weren’t embroiled in a possible fund-raising scandal.

If only Governor Deval Patrick resigned and left the job of acting governor to his lieutenant governor, Timothy P. Murray could be the Democrat to beat in 2014.

Murray’s ambition — always grander than his profile — felt more delusional as time and controversy dragged on.

 

Even the boyos at the Herald would agree with that, yeah?

The Globe also features a largely judgment-free editorial about Murray’s departure:

An unsurprising end to Murray’s once-promising political career

The announcement Wednesday that Lieutenant Governor Timothy Murray will resign to lead the Worcester Chamber of Commerce mainly served to ratify what most on Beacon Hill basically knew: that his recent political scandals had left him without a path to higher office, while his current duties were too limited to sustain an ambitious person’s career.

Murray’s departure ends an awkward chapter in Massachusetts political history . . .

 

That level of understatement, however, is entirely missing from the Herald’s editorial today:

Lt. Gov. Tim Murray yesterday gave the people of Massachusetts his two-week notice, thus drawing a curtain on one of the most underwhelming tenures of a statewide office-holder in recent Massachusetts history. And that’s saying something.

Murray is trading the privilege of elected office for what amounts to a bigger salary and a shorter commute, resigning with nearly two years left in his term to accept a lucrative job as president of the Worcester Regional Chamber of Commerce.

Now, we aren’t particularly sorry to see Murray go but we happen to think elected officials shouldn’t throw over the voters simply for the favor of a fat paycheck.

 

Wait a second . . . the Herald spends all this time saying Murray was a useless slug in a worthless job, but now he should have stayed?

The hardreading staff will be at the chiropractor’s if you need us.

 

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Hack Attack by Boston Herald!!

April 25, 2013

From our Two Different Worlds desk

Luckily for us, our feisty local tabloid has dug deep and unearthed the real villains in the Boston Marathon bombings.

Deval Patrick and the Massachusetts welfare system.

The action gets started on Page One:

 

Picture 1

 

 

Then it really picks up steam on pages 4 and 5.

 

Picture 2

 

 

Here’s a close-up of the bureaucratic sweep:

 

Picture 5

 

 

So that’s five – count ‘em, five – reporters on this story, plus his ‘n’ her bookend columns by Howie Carr and Margery Eagan.

Carr:

We deserve to know what our tax $ paid for

It’s time for all the bureaucrats, paper-shufflers and flak-catchers to come clean on the Tsarnaev clan, those chiseling Chechens who tried to kill us last week.

Open the damn books! If somebody tries to murder you, you have a right to know everything about them, privacy be damned. I want to know everything about them, and I want to know it now, right down to the quality of the weed Dzhokhar was peddling down at UMass Dartmouth.

 

Eagan:

Hacks covering own tracks in name of privacy

Here’s what we’re talking about: One accused mass murderer who’s practically confessed to killing three marathon bystanders, plus a police officer, and injuring 260 others. And his brother, killed after a gunfight in which yet another police officer nearly died.

Yet the state and federal government bureaucrats are telling you, me and every taxpayer who mailed their tax checks on the very day of the marathon bombings that Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s privacy matters more than our right to know how extensively our tax dollars may have contributed to their terrorist plot.

 

But wait – there’s more! This editorial:

Supporting a terrorist

The Tsarnaev brothers lived in America long enough to understand the generosity of her people. In fact they should have understood that generosity better than most given that they benefited from it personally — and in the form of actual taxpayer cash.

We learned this week that Tamerlan Tsarnaev, the apparent mastermind of the Boston Marathon bombing, was until recently supporting his family with the help of a government check.

 

And etc.

Crosstown at the Boston Globe, meanwhile, the welfare issue isn’t even on their radar screen.

The only question left: Which of the two is Bizarro World?

 

 

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Howie Carr’s Next Column

April 24, 2013

You’re Howie Carr and here’s what you wrote in today’s Boston Herald:

A hit to Deval Patrick’s welfare state

Is Gov. Deval Patrick serious? He doesn’t know the motivation of the terrorists?

On Sunday he went on “Face the Nation,” and host Bob Schieffer asked him if he had “any clearer idea” of why the “two young men” did it.

“Not yet, Bob,” Deval began, more than 48 hours after the shootout. “Uh, and it’s hard, it’s hard for me and for many to imagine what could motivate, uh, people to, uh, harm, uh, innocent men, women and children, uh, in the way that, uh, these two fellows did.”

Two fellows indeed. He’d rather
tell a whopper on national TV than acknowledge the grim 
results of his beloved immigration and welfare policies.

 

That would be the same Herald that featured this front page today:

 

Picture 1

 

You’re Howie Carr and you have the usual ten minutes to write your next piece, so you grab the Boston Globe for some easy pickin’s. And on Page One, you strike gold:

tamerlanTsarnaev brothers appeared to have scant finances

The older brother liked to look like a man of means, once posing for a photo in front of a gleaming Mercedes sporting a long wool scarf and white leather slip-on shoes. But Tamerlan Tsarnaev, 26, was a stay-at-home dad, relying on his wife to work long hours as a home health care aide to support the family.

And the car? Tsarnaev most recently owned a 15-year-old Honda.

Tsarnaev’s younger brother never seemed strapped for cash, according to people who knew him at the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth where he was a sophomore. But Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was a scholarship student who earned spending money by selling marijuana, say three people who bought drugs from the 19-year-old.

 

Scant finances? Thank you, Jesus.

Best of all, here’s what’s buried in the 18th graf:

Indeed, Tamerlan Tsarnaev and his family had so little income that they even qualified for state assistance until 2012, state health and human services spokesman Alec Loftus said Tuesday. Both brothers also received benefits through their parents when they were younger. The welfare benefits were first reported by the Boston Herald.

 

You’re Howie Carr and you’re thinking, it really doesn’t get much better than this.

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Whitey Wars in Local Dailies

April 10, 2013

From our Dueling Excerpts desk

For the past three days, the Boston Herald has been excerpting columnist Howie Carr’s new book Rifleman: The Untold Story of Stevie Flemmi, Whitey Bulger’s Partner.

(The hardreading staff suspects that lots of the book is Carr’s Already Told Story of Stevie Flemmi, but we can’t say for sure since we have no intention of actually reading the book or the excerpts.)

Regardless, today’s Herald features the final excerpt in the three-part series:

010504rico‘Rifleman’: Agent Rico and Stevie like blood brothers

FBI always had a place for the thug

Gangster Stevie “the Rifleman” Flemmi is due in Boston in June to testify in his longtime underworld partner Whitey Bulger’s federal murder trial. In today’s excerpt from my new book, “Rifleman,” based on Flemmi’s 2003 confession, he details some of his dealings with corrupt FBI agent H. Paul Rico:

When they first met in 1958, Rico was a young FBI agent and Flemmi was an up-and-coming hoodlum. Pretty soon they were, you might say, thick as thieves.

 

And etc.

Previous excerpts include this:

 

Picture 1

And this:

 

Picture 2

All three come in the wake of the Boston Globe’s relentless promotion of the Kevin Cullen/Shelly Murphy book Whitey Bulger: America’s Most Wanted Gangster and the Manhunt That Brought Him to Justice. From the Globe’s February 10 front-page advertorial:

51YOYTrt7cLA window into Whitey’s brutal life and mind

New biography traces Bulger’s rise, reign, and the reckoning ahead

As he sits brooding in his drab cell awaiting trial, South Boston gangster James “Whitey” Bulger is telling friends that while he feels tortured by his cramped captivity, with its isolation, strip searches, and dismal food, he is ready and eager for “the big show” — the trial where he will defend his sense of honor if not exactly his innocence . . .

Bulger’s generous view of himself, not as a cunning killer and cynical informer but as a criminal with scruples and a kind of noble romantic, is detailed in a new and comprehensive biography of Boston’s most infamous criminal, to be published this week. Also detailed are all the reasons not to accept his self-serving self-portrait, from his long and murderous career as a gangster to his well-documented history of providing information to the FBI.

 

That would be Cullen and Murphy’s book, which was not only flogged on the Globe’s front page, but in numerous fiull-page ads like this as well:

 

Picture 3

 

 

The hardguessing staff’s conclusion: The Cullen/Murphy book will do a lot better than Carr’s cut ‘n’ paste job.

We’ll leave it to you to check the Amazon numbers.

 

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Herald Columnists Double-Team Gomez

March 15, 2013

GOP Senate wannabe Gabriel Gomez gets tuned up real good in the Boston Herald today. Two columnists – Howie Carr and Michael Graham –  give Gomez a working-over (the kind of pigpile that’s a specialty at our feisty local tabloid) for the letter he sent to Deval Patrick asking to be appointed to the interim U.S. Senate seat.

Start with Carr’s drive-by:

GomezGabriel Gomez is one of Dem guys

Gabriel Gomez is the Eddie Haskell of the Mass. Republican Party.

Only instead of sucking up to Mrs. Cleaver, in January the Republican candidate for the Senate was currying favor with Gov. Deval Patrick, begging for the interim appointment to fill the U.S. Senate seat vacated by John F. Kerry.

Actually, given Gomez’s obsession with ethnicity, as shown in his obsequious missive, perhaps he should be referred to as the Eduardo Haskell of the state GOP.

In case you haven’t yet read his letter to Gov. Mini-Me, Gomez makes it clear that he is a “Latino.” A Latino of “Latino background,” he elaborates . . .

 

You get the idea.

On the op-ed page, Graham also gets his licks in:

GomezGOP can do better than Gomez

I supported John McCain in 2008.” — Gabriel Gomez, Feb. 28, to Fox 25.

“I supported President Obama in 2008.” – Gomez, in a Jan. 17 letter to Gov. Deval Patrick

Is it asking too much for a Republican candidate in Massachusetts to be, you know … a Republican?

 

And etc., winding up with this: “Do the GOP party bosses really think that what Massachusetts swing voters want is a candidate they can’t trust? A guy who says right up front — ‘hey, I’ll take any position — just give me the job!’”

Crosstown at the Boston Globe, meanwhile, it was GOP women abandoning Gomez.

Republican US Senate candidate Gabriel E. Gomez lost the support of two of the three leaders of his women’s coalition Thursday, a day after releasing a letter that showed him praising Governor Deval Patrick, a Democrat, and attest ing to his support for President Obama in the 2008 election.

Angela Davis of Foxborough and Rachel Kemp of Boston both left the campaign less than a week after they were named cochairwomen of the Women for Gomez group.

Kemp confirmed her departure but would not comment on her reasoning. Davis also declined to detail her reasoning, but in a message obtained by the Globe, Davis told Gomez campaign aides she was quitting, saying, “The last 24 hours have been a turning point.”

 

Yeah – as in turning against point.

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OMG! Herald Columnist Can’t Write!

March 4, 2013

The hardreading staff is nothing if not realistic about the writing abilities at the Boston Herald. Some are terrific writers – Margery Eagan & Peter Gelzinis, take a bow; and some are dreadful – Howie Carr, come on down!

Now comes the feisty local tabloid’s new column OMG!, which definitely qualifies for the latter designation.

Representative sample:

OMG_logosDear OMG,

I have a friend who maybe weighs 110 pounds soaking wet — she looks great. But lately she has been making strange comments: mentioning she is on Weight Watchers, contributing to a recipe exchange with the disclaimer “I’ve been eating healthy lately” (the recipe she linked to had the calorie count posted prominently) and generally making comments about her food intake. I’m average weight, but it makes me really uncomfortable that someone so small is making these statements. Should I say something?

— Eating Dessert

Dear Dessert,

Yes. If it’s making you, an average person, uncomfortable, it’s probably affecting overweight people and others struggling with eating or body image issues as well. Try something jokey at first — if she says “I’m trying to eat healthy” when refusing a tray of doughnuts, you can retort, “Well I’m trying to eat more deep fried lard” and see whether that shuts her down. (After all, aren’t most of us trying to eat healthy at least some of the time?) If it still doesn’t slow her comments, pull her aside and say you’d rather not talk about calorie consumption or weight — not just for your mental sake, but for the sake of bored people everywhere.

 

Really? See whether that shuts her down? Still doesn’t slow her comments? 

Dear OMG: It’s clear idiomatic English you want. Not idiotic.

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On Second Thought, Let’s Not Skip Over Howie Carr’s Latest Bulk-Mail Offering

February 25, 2013

Earlier today, the hardreading staff wrote this in assessing the latest Boston Herald assault on its crosstown rival Boston Globe’s imminent sale:

Let’s skip over Howie Carr’s bulk-mail offering (“I have next to nothing in common with the pampered pukes of Morrissey Boulevard — I went to a state college, I’m not in the Social Register, I don’t have a trust fund, I wasn’t born and raised on Park Avenue, I never summered in the Hamptons” blah blah blah) and go right to the alleged news report.

 

But, in retrospect, it’s only right to address Carr’s knee-jerk (accent on jerk) attack on the stately local broadsheet.

First off, the “state college” Carr attended was the University of North Carolina, “not exactly Dartmouth State” as one splendid commenter noted.

Beyond that, Carr fails to mention his high school days at Deerfield Academy, not exactly Charlestown High.

But more importantly, consider what the “pampered pukes” published on Page One alone of the Boston Sunday Globe:

Picture 2

 

Headlines:

In nonprofit game, athletes post losing records

Some true benefactors, but Globe finds others give little of what’s raised

Elegy without end for a wordless child

Ten weeks after the Newtown massacre claimed Joey, their 7-year-old joy, a local couple reflects on loss and the power of faith.

Michael McLaughlin made a career of skirting laws

The felonious Chelsea housing boss outran scandal and the law

 

That’s more serious reporting in one day than the Herald does in a month – or Carr does in a year.

Enough with playing to the cheap seats, Howie. You used to be a good, tough reporter. Do an honest day’s work for once, yeah?

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Boston Globe on the Block (Take One in the Local Dailies)

February 21, 2013

The hardreading staff usually restricts itself to the print editions of the local dailies, but we just can’t wait till morning for the bakeoff over the New York Times Co. plan to sell the Boston Globe.

So . . . from their respective websites.

Boston Globe:

Times Co. hires firm to find buyer for The Boston Globe

The New York Times Co. said Wednesday that it plans to sell the New England Media Group, including The Boston Globe and its related online properties, and has hired an investment banker to find a buyer.

The Times Co. has hired Evercore Group, a New York-based firm that has been involved in other newspaper transactions, to help solicit bids from potential buyers.

“Our plan to sell the New England Media Group demonstrates our commitment to concentrate our strategic focus and investment on The New York Times brand and its journalism,” said Mark Thompson, chief executive of the Times Co., in a statement.

 

And etc., including this: “The Times Co. last tried to sell the Globe in 2009, after first threatening to shut the newspaper down because it was losing money. After receiving wage cuts and other cost-saving concessions from Globe employees, the Times Co. decided not to sell at that time, saying it had received bids lower than it had hoped from two different business groups.”

Who – what – want to pony up more now?

(As best the hardremembering staff recalls, they were offering $35 million for what the Times Co. paid $1.2 billion to buy.)

Expanded Globe story here.

Cut to the Boston Herald:

Boston GlobeStaff braces again as Globe on block

The worst kept secret in town — that The Boston Globe is up for sale — 
became official yesterday when the paper’s New York owners publicly put it back on the block in a move that set off wild speculation about who will buy the beleaguered broadsheet and what’s in store for its staff.

The proposed sale — announced in a press release by its owner, The New York Times Co., that caught the Globe’s staff off guard — marks the second time the paper has been on the market since 2009. It also comes as key managers have jumped ship in recent months, among them editor Marty Baron and boston.com general manager Lisa DeSisto.

Industry experts predict it could be a tough sell for the Times, unless it takes on the tens of millions in Globe pension obligations.

 

Kevin Kamen, a newspaper broker from New York, estimates the Globe’s worth at $63 million, according to the Herald report.

Of course, Herald columnist Howie Carr values it significantly lower.

Clueless fops wonder why they’re tanking

Who in his right mind would ever buy The Boston Globe?

Maybe the physical plant of the “newspaper” on Morrissey Boulevard, but the actual product? Let me put it another way: When was the last time you bought an actual copy of The Boston Globe? Why would you, it only encourages them.

Has ever a publication fallen so far, so fast?

It’s the Carnival Triumph of the newspaper business. It’s the Patriots in the second half against the 
Ravens. It’s Tim Murray in his jammies, flooring his state Crown Vic as the stone wall looms up ahead.

 

It’s also Howie trying way too hard.

Then again, what else is new?

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Throwing the Book(s) at Whitey Bulger

February 11, 2013

Dueling book plugs in the local dailies the past two days, starting with this Boston Sunday Globe Page One pompom:

Picture 3A window into Whitey’s brutal life and mind

New biography traces Bulger’s rise, reign, and the reckoning ahead

As he sits brooding in his drab cell awaiting trial, South Boston gangster James “Whitey” Bulger is telling friends that while he feels tortured by his cramped captivity, with its isolation, strip searches, and dismal food, he is ready and eager for “the big show” — the trial where he will defend his sense of honor if not exactly his innocence.

But however defiant he remains, Bulger was prepared to give prosecutors an easy way out, saying he offered himself up for execution if the government would let the woman he loves walk free.

“I never loved anyone like I do her and offered my life [execution] if they would free her — but no they want me to suffer — they know this is the worst punishment for me by hurting her!” Bulger wrote to a friend last year as his longtime girlfriend, Catherine Greig, faced the prospect of years in prison for her devotion to him . . .

“Whitey Bulger: America’s Most Wanted Gangster and the Manhunt That Brought Him to Justice,” written by the authors of this article (Kevin Cullen and Shelley Murphy), with editorial support from The Globe, reveals a host of new information about Bulger, from his pursuit of domestic tranquillity in a tangled romantic triangle, to his seeking out a psychiatrist a la Tony Soprano, to his heretofore little-known role as an agent of mayhem during the city’s school desegregation crisis.

 

Lots of juicy stuff in the “new and comprehensive biography” that just hit bookstores.  Meanwhile, columnist Howie Carr blurbs a different Bulger book in today’s Boston Herald .

021013whitey001Book: Whitey’s rage at black prez led to his capture

Can Whitey Bulger blame his own raging case of Obama Derangement Syndrome rather than a tabby cat for his 2011 capture?

That’s the suggestion in a bombshell new biography, “Whitey: The Life of America’s Most Notorious Mob Boss,” by veteran Boston reporters Dick Lehr and Gerard O’Neill.

When Whitey and moll Catherine Greig had been living in Santa Monica, Calif., as “Mr. and Mrs. Charlie Gasko,” Greig became close to Icelandic model Anna Bjornsdottir, bonding over the care of a stray cat. Whitey often joined them outside their apartment building.

But, Lehr and O’Neill write, Bjornsdottir and Whitey never spoke again after she “unabashedly” expressed admiration for the first black president.

“He practically exploded … disgusted that she could admire a black man as president … Nothing was the same after . . . “

 

Carr conveniently fails to mention 1) that Lehr and O’Neill are former Boston Globe reporters, and 2) that Cullen and Murphy have a new Whitey bio as well.

The Globe piece is more magnanimous:

[Bulger's] first known cooperation with law enforcement was in 1956, when he agreed to identify his bank robbery accomplices so that his then-girlfriend would not face criminal charges for accompanying him on a trip that culminated with a bank robbery in Indiana. That early turn as a snitch was first reported by WBUR, citing documents obtained by two former Globe reporters, Gerard O’Neill and Dick Lehr, who also have a biography of Bulger coming out soon: “Whitey: The Life of America’s Most Notorious Crime Boss.”

 

And getting even more so by the day.

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Gov. Patrick’s Driving Ban Didn’t Keep This Carr Off the Road

February 11, 2013

First, a personal note:

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y, victory victory that’s our cry!

The hardlyreading staff went out earlier today to find some actual newspapers – and we actually did. As we carried them triumphantly back to the Two-Daily Town Global Worldwide Headquarters, we discovered inside the front door – newspapers!

The Sunday papers. And Saturday’s papers. Big shoutout to our delivery guy.

Result: An embarrassment of dailies.

As we plowed through the weekend’s storm coverage, one topic stood out: Gov. Deval Patrick’s “extraordinary step,” as Saturday’s Boston Globe dubbed it, that banned driving during the storm.

From the stately local broadsheet:

Travel ban surprises many, pleases some

Governor Deval Patrick’s strict travel ban Friday stunned pizza deliverers and police chiefs alike, shuttering shops, befuddling taxi drivers, and leaving police officers wondering if they had to ticket drivers dashing to the store for a gallon of milk.

Some criticized the governor for his last-minute edict and the stiff penalties it carried — up to a year in jail and a $500 fine to any nonemergency personnel on the road after 4 p.m. — while others doubted that storm-swamped police would have time to enforce the ban.

But those who recalled the nightmare highway strandings in the Blizzard of ’78 praised Patrick’s order — including the former governor who wished he’d taken similar action sooner 35 years ago.

“There’s no question that the governor’s doing exactly the right thing — have people home, get them off the streets, and just cool it,” said former Massachusetts governor Michael Dukakis, speaking from Southern California, where he now teaches at UCLA. [Where it rarely snows, not to get technical about it.]

 

Others, however, called the ban “tyrannical.” Crosstown at the Boston Herald, it was “absolutely draconian,” according to one local cabbie. But Herald columnist Joe Battenfeld disagreed:

Finding NemoPatrick does it right

Learning from Dukakis’ error, gov still takes heat

You can’t blame Gov. Deval Patrick for not wanting to pull a Michael Dukakis.

In the blizzard of 1978, the state was woefully unprepared for the massive storm. Gov. Dukakis did issue a travel ban but it came too late — after dozens died and thousands were stranded on the roads.

So now Patrick tries to prevent deaths by banning cars on the road and he gets trashed by critics who say it’s an example of government gone too far.

Can you imagine the outrage if Patrick had done nothing and the blizzard ends up claiming lives?

 

That, of course, is nothing compared to the outrage of fellow columnist Howie Carr for the inconvenience Patrick cost him.

801O7669.JPGDriving ban? Take a hike, gov

Hey Gov. Patrick, didn’t your mother ever teach you about the magic word “please”?

You know, you’d ask her for something, and she’d say, “What’s the magic word, Deval?”

I guess she didn’t because I didn’t hear it Friday, when you ordered everyone in the state off the roads at 4 p.m. Like everyone else, I did hear about the $500 fine and/or one year in jail for violating your order, which you had said the previous day you probably weren’t going to issue.

 

Carr proceeds to take a predictable swipe at “the bow-tied bumkissers . . .  already falling all over themselves lauding you for your ‘wise’ decision to shut down business statewide and arrest anybody who had the audacity to try to get home from work.” (So Joe Battenfeld is a “bow-tied bumkisser,” Howie?)

But then Carr gets at the real pathos of the travel ban:

Myself, I’d hired a guy to drive me home Friday night. I was going to leave my car warm and safe in a garage in Brighton. But then he heard about the year in jail, and he chickened out.

So I called Veterans Taxi. At 5 p.m., Veterans called back and said the cops had just ordered them off the road. In other towns, the police were doing robo-calls, a chance to throw their weight around, too.

I wasn’t that worried driving home. I had press credentials, and if any cops had stopped me, I figured I would just tell them I was Police Commissioner Edward F. Davis’ son.

 

There’s your man of the people, Herald readers, whining that “now my car is in the driveway, totally buried in snow.”

Boo hoo, Howie. Welcome to the real world.

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