It's Good to Live in a Two-Daily Town

Page 3 of today’s Boston Herald features this advice column, which the hardreading staff doesn’t recall seeing in the paper before, although we could be wrong. Regardless, it’s lame even by Herald standards.

Time to give in and wear the watch

Dear OMG,

My girlfriend got me a watch for Christmas while on a trip with her family to the Bahamas. It’s a really nice watch, but it’s not my style at all (I don’t usually even wear a watch) and I know I can’t take it back since it’s from a boutique there. I don’t want to offend her, but I don’t think I’ll ever wear it. What should I do?

— Out of Time

Dear Out Of Time,

Ugh, this is a toughie. Why not compromise — suck it up and wear it on occasions that are special to you both: an anniversary dinner, her birthday, or if you ever go to the Bahamas as a couple. If you really aren’t a watch wearer, tell her that by saying something like, “When I wear a watch, it’s going to be this one.” That way she won’t expect you to have it on all the time, and you’ll be relieved of sporting a not-at-all-you piece to the next Celts game.

There’s another question and answer – and a video – but we’ve already sampled too much.

Don’t just take our word for it – here are representative samples of the comments:

Speaking of the Boston Globe, its advice column – Ask Amy – isn’t much better. From today’s installment:

Q. I can’t stand it when kids, teenagers, young adults, and older male adults wear baseball caps into homes, restaurants, and other buildings. When I invite family members to my home for dinner, I expect them not to wear a baseball cap at the dining room table.

When I enter a restaurant, I don’t want to see any men at a dining table with a baseball cap on. It upsets me to pay for a nice dinner when I see attire that belongs at a fast food restaurant.

Needless to say, in my house I must keep the family peace, and so I can’t say anything. In restaurants, I obviously can’t speak up. Your opinion please?

A. A quibble, fine sir. Your home is your castle and of course you can — and should — ask men to please remove their hats (certainly if they are younger than you are. This would be tougher if you were trying to correct a contemporary).

Pretend you are a host at a fine restaurant and say, “Gentlemen, please remove your hats in the house.” If they don’t comply, you have my permission to judge them harshly.

Yeesh. You have our permission to judge both columns harshly.