Boston Herald: Home of the Ultimate Trump Chumps

August 20, 2016

The Boston Herald is so far in the tank for Donald Trump these days, its editors should be wearing scuba gear.

Exhibit Umpteen: Today’s edition of the flunky local tabloid, starting with Page One.

 

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(To be fair graf goes here)

To be fair, there’s nothing really wrong with the report headlined “Trump visits LA’s beleaguered bayou.” But right alongside it is a piece by Trumpkin Adriana Cohen that’s just knee-buckling in its simple-minded sycophancy.

 Who needs Hill, Obama? The Donald to the rescue

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The catastrophic flooding in Louisiana is now being called the worst natural disaster in the U.S. since Superstorm Sandy.

Yet with callous indifference to those suffering, Hillary Clinton and President Obama are missing in action. Clinton has come up with lame excuses why she’s a no-show. And Obama is working on his golf swing with millionaires, billionaires and celebrities on Martha’s Vineyard.

Who needs them.

Donald Trump showed the country who’s boss yesterday by flying to Louisiana to comfort those affected by the catastrophic flooding.

 

Cohen proceeds to gush over Trump’s “mission of mercy,” proclaiming that “Trump showed voters that in a time of disaster and calamity, he’s not an Ivory Tower guy. He shows up and rolls up his sleeves.”

Right. For about 49 seconds.

From the occasionally readable Tommy Christopher at Mediaite:

Watch Donald Trump Spend Exactly 49 Seconds ‘Helping Out’ Louisiana Flood Victims

On Friday morning, freshly-minted Donald Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway told ABC News that Trump and running mate Mike Pence would be traveling to Baton Rouge, Louisiana to “help people on the ground” in a “decidedly nonpolitical event” with “no press allowed.”

As it turns out, though, there actually were members of the press allowed, and the candidate did use the occasion to attack his political opponent, and there were opportunities for photographs, but true to his word, Trump did “help out.” Pool cameras trailed Trump for his entire visit, and over the course of those several hours, Trump “helped out” by unloading a truckload of toys for 49 seconds.

 

Here you go:

 

 

The flood victims of Louisiana should absolutely get all the help America can give them. But from the evidence in the chumpy local tabloid, the Heraldniks should get themselves some help as well.


Hell to the Chief for Vineyard Vacay

August 12, 2013

Man, is the Boston Herald grumpy today. And the object of its grumpitude is the Golfer in Chief, who gets half of Page One for starters.

 

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Then there’s a full page of kvetching about Pres. Obama’s vacationing ways inside.

 

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The Twitter piece, for its part, woefully underdelivers on the snark front with a grand total of two tweets:

“Is Obama auditioning for the Ginyu Force with that picture?” tweeted @mininerd_julia.

“Obama is the most powerful man in the world, but good lord does he need a golf fashion makeover,” tweeted Shane Bacon, a golf blogger for Yahoo! Sports.

 

But Holly Robichaud doesn’t disappoint. As usual, the Lone Republican is in the awkward position of being beside herself with anger at the Prez. (That actually makes her the Dual Republican, for those of you keeping score at home.)

Here’s Holly’s beef:

Oh no, it’s that time of year again. For the next week or so, it will be nonstop fawning all over the Obamas during their summer vacation on Martha’s Vineyard.

What restaurant did they dine at? What ice cream did they eat? What bookstore did they visit? Is John Kerry taking them out on the Isabella? Will there be a Kennedy sighting? Will Lizzy Warren wear her red blazer on the Vineyard?

Absent from the coverage will be the fact that the nation is suffering through another jobless recovery summer . . .

 

And etc.

We can’t remember if Robichaud wrote the same kind of column when George W. Bush went on vacation. We’d check if it weren’t so hot.

Crosstown at the Boston Globe, meanwhile, it’s all fun and games, just like Robichaud said. Start with a little front-page love:

 

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Then deliver the big wet kiss in the Names column.

 

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Yes, that is crazy-train engineer Harry Belafonte at lower left. Here’s the scoop:

Monday, Harry Belafonte will be in Oak Bluffs for a private screening of “Sing Your Song,” a documentary about the silky-voiced “King of Calypso.”

Over the weekend, Belafonte, 86, and his wife, Pam, stopped into Peter andRonni Simon’s Vineyard Haven gallery, and checked out Peter Simon’s portraits of reggae legend Bob Marley, who was a friend of Belafonte’s back in the day.

 

Sounds like fun!

On a personal note, the hardworking staff has a golfing dream of its own: to someday shoot our IQ.

If and when it happens, you will assuredly hear about it.

 


Local Dailies Trash The Vineyard

July 23, 2013

Well, actually, The Vineyard.

That’s the new unreality show that debuts tonight on ABC Family.

 

Here’s what the cable channel says about it:

ABC Family’s newest original docu-series, The Vineyard , is set against the idyllic backdrop of Martha’s Vineyard, MA, and features the island’s iconic Black Dog Tavern. The series follows a mix of locals and transplants living and playing together for the summer. Rounding out the cast of seven girls and four guys is a Latin pop princess, a hopeless romantic and a pre-med student, just to name a few. It’s sure to be an intriguing combination of new friends, new rivals and tight quarters, all resulting in a summer of trouble and romance.

 

Except . . here’s what the TV critics at the local dailies say about it.

Mark Perigard in the Boston Herald:

JACKIE LYONS, KATIE TARDIF, GABBY LAPOINTE‘Vineyard’ dim bulbs are biggest losers

ABC’s new “unscripted” series “The Vineyard” — set in Martha’s Vineyard — has a lot in common with the CBS hit summer drama “Under the Dome.”

Both shows feature people in a tight geographical area. One features people behaving unspeakably stupidly and vile, the other is based on a Stephen King novel.

 

Shouldn’t that be “vilely”? Funny you ask – the Boston Globe’s Matthew Gilbert says, not really.

On some reality shows, the characters seem partly real and partly the creations of the director; on “The Vineyard,” the characters seem almost entirely designed by the director, as if the cast members have been given extremely precise instructions. Katie and the oh-so-chivalrous and ab-tastic Lou are going to be the romantically tortured “A” story.23vineyard2

OK, I have to be transparent. I just went to Thesaurus.com and searched for “repulsive,” and right now I’m feeling overwhelmed by the number of appropriate choices I have to round out my final thoughts on “The Vineyard.” “Odious” is good, but maybe a little too sniffy; there’s no point in being sniffy about a show so obviously rigged to be vapid. “Vile,” too, is an overreaction. I mean, these people are so flat and unreal, it’s pointless to waste sharp words on them. Ah well, even “repulsive” won’t do. I’ll stick with “hollow” and “generic” and get out.

 

Of course you’re wondering: Will the hardreading staff be watching tonight’s premiere?

Get out.